In response to another few asks we got:
First of all thank you for the compliment! We do love to incorporate as much intimacy and emotion as we can because - unlike perhaps some other blogs or just blogs run by individuals - our fantasies and play affect our relationship and things change and grow as a result of that. We promised to ourselves to try and share everything on our blog as long as we can find the words for it and although we keep a few things here and there we’ve shared a lot more than we thought we ever would a year ago.
That’s a big thing for us. It’s all real.
To answer your question as to how long we’ve been dating… M and I have been together since about the beginning of January 2011. Literally I mean New Year’s day. A lot of it was just me realizing that certain things I was doing were things I wanted to stop doing and I just wanted to be a better person. M was that for me. He was kind and intelligent and just plain lovely. And whenever we talked I always laughed and smiled and couldn’t stop just putting my arm around his arm or his neck and just nuzzling him or ruffling his hair. I wanted to be with him forever. That’s all I wanted.
So we’ve been dating since maybe April that year. Almost four years now. But I’ve known I’ve loved him since just about that New Years night way back then. And I guess I’ve realized I can’t live without him since around that time too.
But I’ve also known I couldn’t just be with him since maybe summer that year as well. It took a lot for me to not sleep with other men (and a lot to not admit that to M although I knew I could and wanted to). I’ve hardly been monogamous since high school (I was monogamous with my ex but that was an on-off thing so I’m not sure it could count as a relationship) and I’ve slept with a number of men over the course of my life. I won’t say I have any sort of excuse for doing so but what I’ve realized is that maybe it’s just best to accept it as a part of myself. I’ve always felt attracted to certain men and I’ve always felt a desire and need for certain kinds of sex and sexuality. I’ve tried different things over my life - distracting myself from those things or distancing or denying them. But I’ve found that part of me just hungers and devours itself if I do that. And in the end I always (always!) just give in and binge.
I just can’t feel satisfied without fulfilling that part of me and M and I learned that the hard way after that summer.
I think that’s also the catalyst for us discussing it and openly sharing and fantasizing together. I guess I’m just lucky that M is so accepting and understanding. And that he (in his terms because he’s here as I’m writing this) “only wishes he could have seen me in action”. Don’t get me wrong it hurt both of us but we realized the secrecy was more harmful than anything. Lots of little talks and fantasy play and years of cuckolding later… and here we are. More in love (and busy!) than ever. And also more sexually fulfilled as a result.
And that’s also a big part of our play. M’s wish to have seen/to see me in action is a big dream of his. It’s something I tease him with (and allow him little glimpses when I feel he deserves it) and something we’re slowly building toward. He’s heard me over the phone once. He’s seen me flirting with and getting touched by my ex. But I’ve never let him actually see me. That’s something we both agree with for right now. Him seeing me should be something special. We’re still saving that.
So obviously that’s something M still wants to experience. As to where our boundaries are drawn? That’s something we still talk about. One obvious one for both of us is involving friends and family. We still haven’t done that and don’t intend to (and we talk with people on the internet because who else would we talk to?) and that’s for good reason. A lot of people we know just wouldn’t understand or accept it. And for the sake of just keeping things friendly and nice we don’t talk about it. We don’t give them any sort of clues (even including anyone we might want to include in our play. Like the Power-Flower couple!)
And I guess we don’t really have any other boundaries than that. We talk about things before they happen (for the most part although we’re relinquishing a tiny bit of that lately) and we always talk after things happen. There are sexual things both M and I won’t do but that’s more personal preference and I won’t mention those things on here. I guess a lot of the contrast that comes up is things we both desire and yet both stop ourselves from indulging in because of the risks associated with them. They’re pretty obvious and we mention them constantly so I won’t write them here either. But M’s things and my things are still things we talk about all the time.
Our fears are also based on those things I guess. Other than people finding out it’s really about the risk… but just like anything else in life the risk is part of it (and for us the risk can be so deliciously delightful to give in t… uhh) and we accept that. It’s a part of life. And we communicate with each other to mitigate any consequences from that. But we like to indulge sometimes. We talk about it and fantasize and sometimes we do give in just a little bit to make things more special. But again it’s all weighed and mitigated.
We plan and consider everything. And we talk and love. It isn’t always just sex or cuckolding (and it’s also why we haven’t been posting as much lately too) because there are times when we genuinely just spend time going for walks or playing video games or anything. Life can get pretty busy sometimes and it’s always important to make time. Because what’s life without actual (consequentless) fun?
Like I mentioned before… I just can’t live without the laughs and smiles and warm feelings M gives me.
- H & M
We have an announcement to make:
Most of you have guessed by now… and yes… I am seeing someone. After a bit of a blow up with my ex M and I decided to try going back to a much more vanilla sex life. We tried and tried. It was good don’t get me wrong. It was innocent and lovey dovey and I do love having that with him.
But… it only lasted a little over a month (before I felt I was so worked up that I told him I needed to start seeing someone else or risk going out of my mind!)
So back in September we posted an ad on a dating site. We posted part of it earlier on this blog (and no we still won’t tell which although that should be pretty obvious) and decided to just let that be it. We didn’t talk about it (partly because I knew it would drive me crazy) until we looked at it again one week later.
We got a ton of responses but only a few worthwhile. Most of them were just “oh yeah babe please let me fuck you like tmr k?”-esque men who weren’t worth the time or effort to respond to. But a few stood out. Most of those were actually pretty nice (gentlemen over emails and private chats and one or two lucky ones who were lucky enough to get a sneak peek of what they might get later on).
But one stood out to me. It was kind of weird at first because I kind of wrote him off. I was really interested in him but didn’t get a response right away so I decided not to think much of it.
But then it was like bang. We wrote to each other for a bit. Then we got to talking over the phone and everything between us just clicked. At first it was like we were just talking like friends. And then one evening I realized I was absentmindedly fucking myself in bed while talking with him and it all just came together from there.
And because M and I are still on a 100% no personal detail rule for this blog I’ll just call him “Mr.”
But since then - since I found out he lives in our city (living in our city was one of the response criterion we set up by the way) and that he is truly looking for what M and I want - we’ve done a lot together and it’s just been amazing. And it’s not just sex. We’ve even talked about his outlook on a lot of things and his philosophy for sexuality (he’s very much a Dom but he loves it as much in a psychological way whereas a lot of people just focus on the physical) and everything’s just been… well extraordinary to say the least.
And so (because I know we’ll probably get asked about it anyways) yes it’s a very Dom/sub relationship between him and myself and M. But as I mentioned it’s not just the pain or pleasure part of things. It’s much more holistic. We focus on two things mainly but again it’s not just the sex but a lot of the moments in between as well.
1) First thing. Breaking me down. This is where Mr. trains both my body and my mind. This usually involves either rough sex or me worshiping him and his body. For the first weeks with him when we started this involved me not being allowed to have any orgasms of any kind. He wanted me to associate that with him (and poor M had to go without as well) and I can honestly say it was utter Hell.
The first day pretty much made me go out of my mind because it broke my habit at the end of the evening. But then I kind of said okay I’ll bear with it and I did for a few days and then it all started making me go out of my mind. It also didn’t help that I would see him just to be teased to the verge of coming and then have that taken away (I also had to basically torture M with teasing and letting him watch how needy I was as well) So like I said it was very much both a physical and a psychological domination.
And as much as I might have ached and begged him to please please PLEASE let me because I “neededitsobadyoudon'tunderstandI'mgoingoutofmymindpleasepleasegivemeyourfuckingcock”… I actually really did enjoy it. I loved being teased and loved teasing M in turn. M and I actually haven’t had that much discipline in our lives for a long time and it was pretty amazing to see us get lost in that.
But was that the end? Oh no. Because… once he decided I had enough after that first few weeks he let me experience the second part of what he wanted to do:
2) Building me up. Basically when we start doing this I’m not limited in any way. There are no restraints, no harsh words, and he doesn’t control or command me in any way. I’m free to move, to play with myself, and to touch him and say anything to him that I want.
It’s essentially a “reward” time and it can involve toys or roleplays or just an aftercare kind of sex with just me and him. And I have to admit… when I do come during these times it’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.
Especially the first time I got to feel him inside me (and not just small teases like he had done for those weeks) until I actually came… nothing on earth could ever have compared up until that point. And that’s been true most times I’m with him. I mean I’ve had orgasms but… none as hard… or as deep… or just… as mind-shattering as when I’m with him. My mind melts and my body melts and everything else just fades until I’m just looking up at him.
(And lately there was even this one session that involved a little bit of pain play and a long session of getting me to the edge multiple times… basically breaking me… and when we finally were making love and he was doing this thing with a certain toy in bed… ohh I don’t think I’ve ever come so many times in such a short span of time.. And I swear if it had lasted any longer my mind would have become an irreparable piece of molten mush…)
And basically that’s how we’ve been doing things up until this point. Each week we do more and he shows me more about my sexuality and it’s just… ugh. Amazing.
Aaand I’ve probably written way too much. So M and I wish you’ve all had a happy Christmas!
- H & M
Because one of these is an actual excerpt from a profile we put up on a dating site back in September.
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“Lovely, loving couple looking for a man for her.
A man who is fit. Not necessarily body-builder muscles, but a perfection of broad shoulders, a hard chest, and capable arms and hands.
A man who takes care of his body and has a personality to match.
A man who is confident and powerful. A man who is experienced with every aspect of life. A man who can handle anything.
We also need someone who will keep things discreet and respectful of our own time.”
——————————————–
“Lovely, loving couple looking for a man for her.
We want a man who is confident and just a little cocky. A man who smokes, has fun, and also knows where to touch and what to say.
We want a man who can help her live out her biggest fantasies.
A man who knows how to be bad. A man who knows how addictive naughtiness can be. A man who knows how to cater to an indulgence in social taboo and risk.
A man who can put her into a physical and psychological mood where she is willing to do anything.
We want someone who also understands that this will be a temporary arrangement.”
——————————————–
“Lovely, loving couple looking for a man for her.
We need a man who knows how to balance physical and psychological pleasure and intimacy.
This means a man who is dominant but gentle, a man who is disciplined but loving, a man who will respect boundaries but also push them.
We need a man who will seduce her and take her and use her and break her, then re-shape her body, mind, and soul into something beautiful. A man who will bring pure sexual passion out of her. A man who will turn her into the woman of every man’s dreams.
We’re a unique couple and will need to discuss things at length before any physical intimacy. We’re looking for a man who will date her and match her on an intellectual and emotional level.
We need a man who is serious. We need a man who wants to own her in every sense of the word.”
You have no idea how much I want to/need to/will give anything to do it right now.
It’s been weeks and weeks and my body and mind just can’t stop the thought of it. It’s gotten more and more intense each day. M and I have tried other things but it still isn’t the same. Other men just aren’t the same. It needs to be him.
We’ve actually been talking lately. He’s single again.
It’s funny because it actually feels like some unstoppable force is attracting us toward each other and it won’t stop until he’s inside me again.
But who knows.
*Sigh*
The problems of being in a relationship with a loving boyfriend…
- H
I watch you as you smile.
You’ve only worked here a while.
You’re studying, going to school, but you’re still not sure what you want out of life.
So, you answer the phone. You say hello. You help people get to where they need to go.
You smile.
And it makes me want to stop the world, just to take a few steps toward you, just to feel what it’s like to cup your cheek. Just to look into your big eyes as I slide my cock between your lips.
*grabs the sheets and turns off the lights*
*slowly slides hand under the sheets*
- H
She made sure his hands were tied, then she straddled him. Only her pair of underwear between them. Her hair draped down onto his face. She looked down at him and smiled.
‘Please,’ he whispered.
He stuck out, hard and cold against the air. She leaned over and breathed on it. Heat radiated…
Sometimes stories can be the best inspiration or aftercare.
- H
Well that’s two dates in two weeks.
Both duds and both very disappointing.
:/
- H & M