Q
boredbutawake asked:
Thanks for taking the time to answer my ask. No need for this one. And sorry for the short sentences -- character limit kicks in fast. I just wanted to say I'm amazed about your relationship. But at the same time I just want to warn you about that unprotected sex fantasy. I know it's only a fantasy. Keep it that way. If H ever gets pregnant... that would suddenly involve 4 people. H of course... M... H's ex, and the baby. It will suddenly become much more complicated and a whole deal less fun.
A
Thanks for the ask and trust me, that’s a fact we’re very aware of.
Thing is, it’s not really the pregnancy that turns H (and myself) on. The idea of raising a child (and the paternity being questionable no less) is something we don’t want (at least not yet, and not with other people.)
The thrill comes from the risk, the fact that being risky would mean being so turned on (or for her, so submissive and perhaps promiscuous) that she would forgo rational thought and forsake relational commitment (with a pinch of being bad for the sake of it.) We’ve both said this before, but it’s the whole caveman paradigm. The thought that he could take her regardless of what risks it might entail for her or me is a powerful turn on.
So a pregnancy itself isn’t the fantasy. And, in this context at least, that’s why it won’t become a reality.
- M
Kind of a post to go along with the caption I just put up. I got an ask from someone who wanted to keep private so I’ll answer it this way instead.
The question was: “Are you two always turned on by the cuckolding thing? Do either of you ever want to stop sometimes?”
The answer, whole-heartedly, is no to the first and yes to the second.
To simplify things, H and I can both get into “cuckolding mode” (for lack of a better term), where one or both of us will be turned on and in the mood to do some stuff. But that isn’t all the time.
I’ll run through an average day for us:
- H and I will wake up. We might tease or do some light stuff, but generally nothing much.
- H and I will then go to class or work, and for the most part (aside from a few thoughts here and there), we don’t think about it at all.
- H and I then come home. And up until the time we actually go to sleep, “cuckold mode” is fair game. We can sense when the other isn’t into it, but this time can involve teasing, playing, or even (like tonight) her going on a date with someone.
As you can tell, we only really play during our private times–when we’re not in public or discussing public things. That’s changing a bit with her dating her ex now, but for the most part it’s a secret from everyone we know. But when we’re alone, as long as we’re in the mood, we do it.
And if we’re not, we’re usually cuddled up and watching a movie or reading or playing video games. We’re still in love and in a nerdy relationship after all. And if either of us is stressed, busy, sick, or anything else, our play takes a back seat. Again, that comes with the whole communication thing–play only works when both people understand and want something to happen.
And as we get closer, those turned-on times for us tend to overlap. That’s the beauty of a long lasting loving relationship.
Hope that answers your question.
- M
H graduated over the summer so she never had a prom. When we finally did establish a relationship–in terms of boyfriend and girlfriend, not just talking like we did for the first few months–I staged a surprise private prom in her dorm room with music, mood lighting, a few other things to make it more realistic. It’s something I remembered about her and did for her, just as a little extra birthday gift. She loved it.
We’ve played a bit with the fantasy and reality about what would have happened at that prom though, especially around her ex. I did have a girlfriend who I ended up going to prom with (in hindsight, that relationship most likely failed because I was still in love with H) and if H did attend as well, she probably would have gone with her ex.
And that’s something we’ve talked about. Play-acting a prom with her ex. Only, instead of a little thing in a dorm room, rather a full night of it. I might be there or not (possibly tied up to a chair in a dark corner? possibly hearing through speaker phone?) but regardless, the whole night would be devoted to the experience for her.
She would dance with him, they would kiss, they would flirt, whisper sweet nothings, feel each other up. They would end up in his bed, play around, and fuck. And if it was authentic to early on in their relationship, even make love.
But that’s just a thought for now. She’s going on a date with him tonight and it’ll be interesting to see how it goes and what crops up after it. Maybe the prom play will come alive one day, or it might be something for the past.
- M
Deep down some part of me does end up getting extremely aroused at being mean to M or blaming him or letting my body decide for me. Maybe it comes down to the whole power thing. I know that if it ended up happening (and it could happen so easily) he would react in his way and wouldn’t do anything to put a stop to it… that a dominant man could take me from him and he couldn’t do anything and I would just let it happen because of how much my body would desire/be intoxicated by it. Something so primal and powerful. The whole caveman thing all over again.
- H
Another big fantasy of mine even though it’s one I would never agree with outside of the bedroom or in serious terms. There’s something about being submissive to the point where I could be physically sold to a person for however long that heats me up like nothing else when I’m in the mood. Maybe it’s the exchange of money and thereby objectifying me in the most fundamental way or loss of control/me giving up the reins to someone else to be theirs completely and thereby betraying M in the most powerful way.
I’ve heard stories of men out there who can come without anything except being teased by words and if that could ever happen with a woman like me playing in a situation like this would be the way.
- H
A bit more of a niche caption for us. It’s something I’ve wanted to do but haven’t and may actually never go through with. The idea of being a groupie–someone objectified to bolster the band and objectified as available for sex with the band members in terms of a stereotype–is something I would never seek in a long-term relationship anymore although it does turn me on.
But hey maybe one for the bucket list?
- H
Q
boredbutawake asked:
Hi guys; congrats on that successful tumblr. I just created an account just to drop you a word. For some reason I find that whole consensual betrayal thing very arousing. Okay not sure if you see it that way but... From reading your posts though, while it's clear that M gets a boatload of emotions out of it, it's not 100% clear to me if H just wants to do other guys for fun (and for M's) or if she actually is a bit sadistic and enjoys tormenting M. How much do M's feelings add to H's experience?
A
Thank you and I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to send us an ask.
The truth is… I’m not exactly sure of it myself. I don’t get off on hurting M as much as I do teasing him and flaunting my sexuality around him. But as I said in a previous post I think on some subconscious level I actually may be sadistic in that I get aroused when I see him emotionally anxious and all of that. It’s fun and the sex is its own reward but something both M and I have noticed is that I do get considerably more turned on when we play (talk and think) around things like me denying him sex or forming a strong emotional connection with someone else (and at our most extreme… me even physically leaving him to have a more intense or permanent sexual relationship with another man). But even though it gets me hot as I said I can’t explain it. But can anyone out there actually explain why certain kinks turn them on while others don’t?
So yes I guess it’s a bit of both. Sex with other men (and recently especially with my ex) is incredible for me… but so is hurting and betraying M to some extent too. I can’t explain either of them but having them both together can feel intoxicating. It’s like adding your biggest turn on/kink to your second biggest turn on/kink. it makes you hot on a level that goes through the roof even if you don’t know why. Couple that with my kinks for submissiveness and that feeling of “falling for someone” which is actually a very real possibility now with my ex… it doesn’t just go through the roof… but the stratosphere as well.
Maybe that just makes things more confusing but I hope it helps.
- H
Q
happyfoot69 asked:
I think you're cucking your fans by holding out on details on this affair. Love the captions I love what you're doing, and that you're making it your own. It is what you make it and you're making it sexy and awesome.
A
Well I never said cucking wasn’t fun and maybe it’s just a little more fun doing it with a big audience! But really I just love cucking M and we’ve both been crazy busy with classes and part time jobs and everything starting up again lately. We’re not even sure whether we should post every ask (we ended up replying to about half privately because we don’t want to spam our own tumblr page) but we’re sure to answer each one.
And yes! It’s what we make it and we’re really having fun with it so far. I know I said this in a previous post but these captions really help us figure things out and communicate more. They’re like little notes we give to each other to say “I love you” and turn each other on.
- H
Q
cheatingcollegegirl asked:
Hi H and M! Just wanted to say thank you for the blog! You two inspired me to start my own blog, exploring (and confessing) about my own similar relationship with my boyfriend, although he won't be blogging with me. If you get time, I'd love your opinions on it, or thoughts on what to expect next. You guys are awesome, hope to hear from you soon, I'm a huge fan! -C.
A
Well let me just say that first I’m not really sure if you said your boyfriend is okay with it. On your blog it says he knows but I didn’t really read if it’s something he wants too. Be sure it’s something you both want!
But that being said you’re still young, you’re still a woman, you know what you want and need. If that includes sex then nothing should stop you from getting that. But again communication is key! Things can quickly get really complicated and harmful to your relationships and public life and such if you don’t talk and think things through.
- H
Q
wanderlustcuck asked:
I'd imagine you'll fill us in if there's any major developments but you dropped a bomb the other day about H deciding to contact her ex. I know I'm on the edge of my seat so ill just ask... Did she get ahold of him? Has she had a chance to explain what you guys are hoping for? Just wondering.
A
Yes I did! You’ll probably read what happened because I just posted it in a caption but I’m pretty sure you’ve guessed by now anyway.
And my ex took it quite well. We both sent really long emails and then talked at length about it over texts, in the coffee shop, and during another in person meeting too. I know I’ve said this before but the most important part is always communication and making sure of everything beforehand is the best way to make sure no one gets hurt… even if being hurt (to a small extent!) is a turn on for some people. It’s all good if it’s what everyone wants. :)
- H
Years ago I cheated on my boyfriend… months ago I did it with his knowledge… and three days ago I finally fucked my ex.
I can’t believe how good this feels! Being in love with the most amazing boyfriend in the world… being able to make love with the boy I love… and being able to fuck other men… even being able to have sex with my ex again… it’s all unbelievable.
I have no idea how far this is going to go… it seems like all of us just want this to go farther and farther and our bodies want to obey because it feels so good… well wherever it goes I just can’t believe how lucky I am.
M, I love you so much!
- H
H adds emphasis to words when she teases me. She drags them out, makes me wait and think, tortures me with them. Just like the images of her and other men. It’s a hidden talent of hers–something she can’t do in public for the most part–and I love it.
H is on a date with him right now. We talked this weekend, went over possibilities, went over risks and rewards. We teased and turned each other on. We took tumbles on the bed, the couch, even in the kitchen.
It might be quick, but we both agreed she could sleep with him. Not spend the night, but flirt. Flaunt. Fuck. All on the condition that she come back before the night’s over so we can talk. A little like the fairytale Cinderella, except Prince Charming gets lucky and the ball might happen many times in the future.
It’s been a few hours now and it’s all I can think about. She’s texted a few times and I think I know what’s happening. I thought the moment of watching her kiss him was something, but this is in a league of its own. Anxiety, angst, excitement, exhilaration. An intense cocktail of emotion.
- M
I sent my ex a long email this week about everything and he sent me an email back. He’s still single, he still has a thing for me, and he loves the idea.
We ended up talking on the phone on Friday. I felt myself melting back into sub space again just talking to him. We didn’t have phone sex, at least not overtly, but I will say a few sexual feelings came back. And at least one hand started rubbing a body (and more intimate parts) too.
The thing I mentioned in the caption is also a game M and I played this weekend. I met L again. We had lunch. M watched from another table. The rules were, if M came over and took me away, it meant things were too much and this would end. If M watched and did nothing, then it meant the meeting was a success and he could handle things. And if M got up and got a newspaper, then he would be okay with me going home with L if he asked.
I was nervous and excited as it happened. I won’t say butterflies but something close. We did kiss twice during our meet. The first time… just a little peck from him. And right after that… a long open-mouthed kiss from me. I’ll admit it was nice and in fact for a tiny while I forgot about my boyfriend altogether. But it was also exhilarating to see M react to me and L. It was also really interesting when he got up and got a newspaper as well… although L didn’t end up offering to take me with him.
M and I talked today and he’s okay with me sleeping with L at any time. In fact he wants it to happen as soon as possible (he almost begged me to call L again today) and I’m inclined to do it. We agreed it should be private (me and L most likely at his place) and there’s nothing else left for us to do except do it. Hmm…
- H
Communication’s the most important thing in relationships. H cheated on me in the past and we broke things off, but the best decision I’ve ever made is to talk things out when it happened again.
One of the biggest things we talked about was the definition of cheating. Was it only cheating if penetration was involved? Was it only cheating if there was risk involved–if she didn’t use a condom or felt feelings for the person? Was it only cheating if she knew that it would hurt me?
And what if it was something we both wanted? If I wasn’t hurt, if I knew and told her it was okay, was it still cheating?
We’ve talked and accepted one thing: no matter if it’s cheating or not, it’s what turns us on. And that, beyond all labels, is personal. It’s what we want, it’s what works for us, and only our opinions should matter.
And if the hurt or risk ever becomes too much, and one of us wants to stop, then we’ll talk about it. Even as our relationship evolves, we talk. We’re human, we need reassurance.
As I said, communication’s the most important. Especially when you’re talking about the most important person in your life–the one you love.
- M