Because one of these is an actual excerpt from a profile we put up on a dating site back in September.

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“Lovely, loving couple looking for a man for her.

A man who is fit. Not necessarily body-builder muscles, but a perfection of broad shoulders, a hard chest, and capable arms and hands.

A man who takes care of his body and has a personality to match.

A man who is confident and powerful. A man who is experienced with every aspect of life. A man who can handle anything.

We also need someone who will keep things discreet and respectful of our own time.”

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“Lovely, loving couple looking for a man for her.

We want a man who is confident and just a little cocky. A man who smokes, has fun, and also knows where to touch and what to say.

We want a man who can help her live out her biggest fantasies.

A man who knows how to be bad. A man who knows how addictive naughtiness can be. A man who knows how to cater to an indulgence in social taboo and risk.

A man who can put her into a physical and psychological mood where she is willing to do anything.

We want someone who also understands that this will be a temporary arrangement.”

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“Lovely, loving couple looking for a man for her.

We need a man who knows how to balance physical and psychological pleasure and intimacy.

This means a man who is dominant but gentle, a man who is disciplined but loving, a man who will respect boundaries but also push them.

We need a man who will seduce her and take her and use her and break her, then re-shape her body, mind, and soul into something beautiful. A man who will bring pure sexual passion out of her. A man who will turn her into the woman of every man’s dreams.

We’re a unique couple and will need to discuss things at length before any physical intimacy. We’re looking for a man who will date her and match her on an intellectual and emotional level.

We need a man who is serious. We need a man who wants to own her in every sense of the word.”