We have an announcement to make:
Most of you have guessed by now… and yes… I am seeing someone. After a bit of a blow up with my ex M and I decided to try going back to a much more vanilla sex life. We tried and tried. It was good don’t get me wrong. It was innocent and lovey dovey and I do love having that with him.
But… it only lasted a little over a month (before I felt I was so worked up that I told him I needed to start seeing someone else or risk going out of my mind!)
So back in September we posted an ad on a dating site. We posted part of it earlier on this blog (and no we still won’t tell which although that should be pretty obvious) and decided to just let that be it. We didn’t talk about it (partly because I knew it would drive me crazy) until we looked at it again one week later.
We got a ton of responses but only a few worthwhile. Most of them were just “oh yeah babe please let me fuck you like tmr k?”-esque men who weren’t worth the time or effort to respond to. But a few stood out. Most of those were actually pretty nice (gentlemen over emails and private chats and one or two lucky ones who were lucky enough to get a sneak peek of what they might get later on).
But one stood out to me. It was kind of weird at first because I kind of wrote him off. I was really interested in him but didn’t get a response right away so I decided not to think much of it.
But then it was like bang. We wrote to each other for a bit. Then we got to talking over the phone and everything between us just clicked. At first it was like we were just talking like friends. And then one evening I realized I was absentmindedly fucking myself in bed while talking with him and it all just came together from there.
And because M and I are still on a 100% no personal detail rule for this blog I’ll just call him “Mr.”
But since then - since I found out he lives in our city (living in our city was one of the response criterion we set up by the way) and that he is truly looking for what M and I want - we’ve done a lot together and it’s just been amazing. And it’s not just sex. We’ve even talked about his outlook on a lot of things and his philosophy for sexuality (he’s very much a Dom but he loves it as much in a psychological way whereas a lot of people just focus on the physical) and everything’s just been… well extraordinary to say the least.
And so (because I know we’ll probably get asked about it anyways) yes it’s a very Dom/sub relationship between him and myself and M. But as I mentioned it’s not just the pain or pleasure part of things. It’s much more holistic. We focus on two things mainly but again it’s not just the sex but a lot of the moments in between as well.
1) First thing. Breaking me down. This is where Mr. trains both my body and my mind. This usually involves either rough sex or me worshiping him and his body. For the first weeks with him when we started this involved me not being allowed to have any orgasms of any kind. He wanted me to associate that with him (and poor M had to go without as well) and I can honestly say it was utter Hell.
The first day pretty much made me go out of my mind because it broke my habit at the end of the evening. But then I kind of said okay I’ll bear with it and I did for a few days and then it all started making me go out of my mind. It also didn’t help that I would see him just to be teased to the verge of coming and then have that taken away (I also had to basically torture M with teasing and letting him watch how needy I was as well) So like I said it was very much both a physical and a psychological domination.
And as much as I might have ached and begged him to please please PLEASE let me because I “neededitsobadyoudon'tunderstandI'mgoingoutofmymindpleasepleasegivemeyourfuckingcock”… I actually really did enjoy it. I loved being teased and loved teasing M in turn. M and I actually haven’t had that much discipline in our lives for a long time and it was pretty amazing to see us get lost in that.
But was that the end? Oh no. Because… once he decided I had enough after that first few weeks he let me experience the second part of what he wanted to do:
2) Building me up. Basically when we start doing this I’m not limited in any way. There are no restraints, no harsh words, and he doesn’t control or command me in any way. I’m free to move, to play with myself, and to touch him and say anything to him that I want.
It’s essentially a “reward” time and it can involve toys or roleplays or just an aftercare kind of sex with just me and him. And I have to admit… when I do come during these times it’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.
Especially the first time I got to feel him inside me (and not just small teases like he had done for those weeks) until I actually came… nothing on earth could ever have compared up until that point. And that’s been true most times I’m with him. I mean I’ve had orgasms but… none as hard… or as deep… or just… as mind-shattering as when I’m with him. My mind melts and my body melts and everything else just fades until I’m just looking up at him.
(And lately there was even this one session that involved a little bit of pain play and a long session of getting me to the edge multiple times… basically breaking me… and when we finally were making love and he was doing this thing with a certain toy in bed… ohh I don’t think I’ve ever come so many times in such a short span of time.. And I swear if it had lasted any longer my mind would have become an irreparable piece of molten mush…)
And basically that’s how we’ve been doing things up until this point. Each week we do more and he shows me more about my sexuality and it’s just… ugh. Amazing.
Aaand I’ve probably written way too much. So M and I wish you’ve all had a happy Christmas!
- H & M
Notes
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We have an announcement to make: Most of you have guessed by now… and yes… I am seeing someone. After a bit of a blow up...
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