H hasn’t slept with a ton of strangers (we’re mostly afraid of her safety), but the first time it happened was the biggest. There truly is nothing in the world like knowing the person you love just slept with someone else.
When we were lying in bed and she told me about it after, it was one of the most intense moments I’ve ever felt. It was a cocktail of emotions–jealousy and angst, horniness and need, comfort and love, and ambiguity. We were tentative about it, talked about it, and I will admit I felt a little guilty the next morning. It took a lot of reassurance from both of us that nothing was going to change between us.
Strangely though, the biggest thing I’ve noticed is just an emotional closeness that we didn’t have before. We communicate more and are more open and honest about things (partly through necessity, partly through who we are as people) and I think that comes from coming out of that first night (the “crisis moment” we like to call it) on top.
It certainly isn’t for all couples though, and it took us a long time to even get to the point where we could talk about it seriously and begin planning.
- M