We just got an ask from a tumblr-er who wishes to remain private, so we’ll answer it in a post instead.

The person asked what kind of relationship we have, and to give a word to describe it in a set term, or to make up one if we found none appropriate.

Our answer is as follows:

We don’t know.

There are a ton of words out there, but our arrangement is rather fluid (we created the blog to explore and push, after all) and labels usually have specific connotations which may or may not apply to us in one or another circumstance.

The word “cuckolding” might imply some form of humiliation or H being in control over M sexually. That’s slightly true. M does love light humiliation, especially when it comes to being helpless while H takes or gets taken by a lover. However, neither M nor H are turned on by degrading each other or forcing M to go down on her after a lover to eat leftovers. And while H does love being submissive to other men and in a more dominant position in regard to M, the reality of a safe word and moods always override that.

The word “hotwife” or “slutwife” don’t entirely work. Although H is beautiful (in M’s words), the connotations of hot and slut bring forward a more cultural way of judging someone. H has rather wild wispy hair, a little pouch of a tummy, doesn’t shave or wax anywhere (except armpits, and she has really light hair on her arms and legs), and refuses to paint her face with things that may or may not contain harmful chemicals. She would also either ignore or slap anyone who called her a slut in public. So she isn’t really the portrayal of a girl you’d see on tv or movie posters. She’d never make any entertainment show’s “top 20” anything list. And we’re not married yet, so there’s that.

The term “polyamorous” is a strange one. We don’t share love–we love each other, no one else–but we both agree it’s possible to love others (family, friends, childhood pets, Game of Thrones) so we don’t exactly know what to say. She would love to indulge in the feeling of falling in love again (quite possibly with her ex, as mentioned in the last caption), but she would never want to leave M for him or live out the rest of her life without M by her side at night. Love’s a complicated word as it is–you can love one person, a group of people, and/or the feeling of eating a homemade cheeseburger on your apartment rooftop on a sunny Tuesday. (Edit: go listen to Adam Cohen’s “What Other Guy”, a song which might make you understand how we feel about each other a bit better (as opposed to others), if not make you sing along and swoon after a repeat playing.)

In the end (although this is maybe more of a beginning?) we chose cuckolding for one very childish reason: it sounds like fuck. H cucks M is something that sounded fun, so we went with that for our name. And “cucu” (curious and cuck) couple sounded kinda similar to “coo coo” (as in we’re a little coo coo crazy), which I suppose is a reaction to our first time discussing it hypothetically with someone–who thought it was crazy.

So it’s all about fun sexually. But why would we want anything else?

- M & H

Edit: This post is continued in this post.