After my post on me being mean to M I thought I’d make another one with an idea M talked with me about last night.

He thinks on some level unconsciously (aside from or in addition to how much he might be a masochist and how much I might be a sadist) that all of this might be an act of love. In his words I “test how much he loves me” which is something very few other couples ever do.

And I think I agree. How much can you say you truly love your partner if they’ve never cheated on you? How much can you say you truly love your partner if you’ve never given them to the freedom to fuck other people or even fall in love with them? If they come back to you after all of that then it’s a concrete way of knowing your love is forever, and that is not something most normal couples can know. If you don’t explore those things with the person you love without guilt or societal pressures to stop or do the opposite, then how can you know you don’t enjoy them? And how can you say your partner is the best thing ever if you’ve never explored those other things at the height of their enjoyability?

I think it’s something a lot of people need to think about. And I think it’s something that describes us so well. We love each other and we’re willing to test that to any extent in both fantasy and reality.

- H