Communication’s the most important thing in relationships. H cheated on me in the past and we broke things off, but the best decision I’ve ever made is to talk things out when it happened again.

One of the biggest things we talked about was the definition of cheating. Was it only cheating if penetration was involved? Was it only cheating if there was risk involved–if she didn’t use a condom or felt feelings for the person? Was it only cheating if she knew that it would hurt me?

And what if it was something we both wanted? If I wasn’t hurt, if I knew and told her it was okay, was it still cheating?

We’ve talked and accepted one thing: no matter if it’s cheating or not, it’s what turns us on. And that, beyond all labels, is personal. It’s what we want, it’s what works for us, and only our opinions should matter.

And if the hurt or risk ever becomes too much, and one of us wants to stop, then we’ll talk about it. Even as our relationship evolves, we talk. We’re human, we need reassurance.

As I said, communication’s the most important. Especially when you’re talking about the most important person in your life–the one you love.

- M