I sent my ex a long email this week about everything and he sent me an email back. He’s still single, he still has a thing for me, and he loves the idea.
We ended up talking on the phone on Friday. I felt myself melting back into sub space again just talking to him. We didn’t have phone sex, at least not overtly, but I will say a few sexual feelings came back. And at least one hand started rubbing a body (and more intimate parts) too.
The thing I mentioned in the caption is also a game M and I played this weekend. I met L again. We had lunch. M watched from another table. The rules were, if M came over and took me away, it meant things were too much and this would end. If M watched and did nothing, then it meant the meeting was a success and he could handle things. And if M got up and got a newspaper, then he would be okay with me going home with L if he asked.
I was nervous and excited as it happened. I won’t say butterflies but something close. We did kiss twice during our meet. The first time… just a little peck from him. And right after that… a long open-mouthed kiss from me. I’ll admit it was nice and in fact for a tiny while I forgot about my boyfriend altogether. But it was also exhilarating to see M react to me and L. It was also really interesting when he got up and got a newspaper as well… although L didn’t end up offering to take me with him.
M and I talked today and he’s okay with me sleeping with L at any time. In fact he wants it to happen as soon as possible (he almost begged me to call L again today) and I’m inclined to do it. We agreed it should be private (me and L most likely at his place) and there’s nothing else left for us to do except do it. Hmm…
- H
Notes
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