We got another few asks about how we define our relationship, so consider this an addition to another post we made long ago.
We aren’t really an “open relationship” or “swinging couple”. “Half-open” or “sometimes open” might be more accurate. H is open to have anyone she wants (I can veto anyone, but that’s something I’ve never used nor had to use) except she doesn’t like seeing herself that way. Our arrangement evolves as needed, and right now the only man she considers having a sexual relationship with is her ex. Neither of us are going to see anyone outside of the circle (triangle?) to keep things simple and controllable, but if we do in the future feel more comfortable, it’ll open up.
We’re not a “Dominant and submissive”. Neither H nor I holds power over the other, and neither of us gives up power. But it does get tricky. Here’s an example: H will use her hands or the outside of her body on me, then walk away. In that moment I’ll want nothing more than to come, but by going to take a shower or texting with her ex she’ll be taking that away from me. Another example: H might be texting her ex, and he’ll tell her to start masturbating. In both moments, we’re clearly subjecting ourselves to someone controlling what we do, but they’re singular moments nonetheless. So “Dom” and “sub” tend to be kinky moments, and not our lifestyle altogether.
We aren’t a “female-led relationship” because H doesn’t hold the majority of power. We’re a normal couple, especially in public. In private, H enjoys teasing me, but that doesn’t mean she holds all the power. At every moment, we both consent and agree to anything that happens–whether it be during teasing, having sex, having sex while playing with her being mean, or her going on a date with her ex.
Also, I’ll take this moment to re-recommend listening to Adam Cohen’s “What Other Guy”. Aside from being a beautiful tender song (with a beautiful redhead who reminds me H, sans the freckles), it also has a subtle cuckolding theme to it.
Pay attention to the lines: “I know what you want by what you’re wearing / The kind of night you’re preparing” and “I know where you go with your beautiful friends / I know what you taste like when the night ends”.
There’s actually a lot of cuckolding imagery in the song, but I’ll leave that for you to discover. Have a listen here if you so desire.
Take care and be well.
- M
Notes
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